Since I said I was going to start writing from the heart...here I am.
On August 4, 2012 my life changed. Each chapter in life brings on changes, challenges, disappointments, surprises, fears, promises, and happiness...you get the point.
Getting married has been all of those as well.
It is something that you don't fully understand until you have committed that love to someone and fully taken on the role of living life as one. Husband and wife.
One? I've never lived my life as one...with two people. I've always lived my life as one for...myself. That is one concept that I did not fully grasp until after we moved in together after we got married.
You mean, I have to literally share every piece of me with my husband? And the answer was a mostly yes. And in that meant a lot of compromising. And a lot of talks. And a lot of patience. But mostly, a heck of a lot of love.
I won't lie, it was a hard transition for me. It was hard being away from home. It was hard to stop thinking for just myself, to start thinking for us. Our future. Our lives. Not just mine and my own wants. And I never really thought I was selfish until I figured out I wanted my wants....a lot.
At first I thought I was an awful wife. Trying to just get my own way. I prayed for patience. I prayed for understanding. I prayed so hard for God to help me with this transition in my life.
Then I realized....I was human. I also realized I continued to love Jeff more. Slowly I began to realizing what drove him up a tree and he realized the same. I remember Father talking about how important communication was in marriage, and he was straight up not joking.
These past months have tested everything in me. I am continually learning more about my husband. And especially about myself. I am learning how to sometimes just shut my little mouth, even if I don't agree. I am learning bickering about things that aren't life changing....are not worth bickering about at all. I am learning how to live as one, continually learning.
A lot of days I'm not perfect. A lot of days I will leave a mess when I'm running late for school. A lot of days I will forget about the laundry. And a lot of days I would just rather lay down after work than clean the house or do anything productive for that matter.
One thing I do know is that everyday I chose to love my husband. And I am continually falling for the guy I met just four years ago. Even though marriage isn't always easy....I wouldn't have it any other way nor want anyone else by my side for life.